A lady named Yemi wrote in to Bunmi, Vanguard's agony aunt requesting advice on how to handle her predicament. Her husband was in an accident sometime ago and it left him disabled, as a result, their love life is nob-existent. She still loves her husband but wants to get a little action on the side, physical needs nothing more. She's only in her 30s.
Without wishing to come across as inconsiderate towards her husband, I think physical needs are an important part of any intimate relationship without which unfaithfulness is almost inevitable.
Your thoughts....
"Dear Bunmi,
I’m in my late 30’s. Six years ago, my husband was in an accident which left him disabled. Although I still love him, our relationship has changed. Our love-life is non-existent and we sleep in separates beds. We have a competent helper and this helps.
At a recent Christmas party, I met a man through a close friend whose wife has cancer. We became good friends but now we want more. Unfortunately, our partners love and depend on us. Do you think an affair in this circumstances will be wrong? I have needs too and I’m not 40 yet."
BUNMI'S REPLY.
"Dear Yemi, I do sympathise with your predicament, I’m sure friends would have told you your relationship with your husband has changed and he’s no longer the man you married. That as long as you’re discreet, an affair is fine – it might even enable you to continue caring for your husband without feeling bitter about your situation.
Why not ask yourself how you would feel in your husband’s position – would you understand? Your answer should tell you all you need to know."
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